I have the honor to send out this One Wealth Perspectives on Christmas Eve 2024 – though finding my holiday spirit hasn’t been easy. It’s been a challenging year for my family – more specifically – my mother, siblings and me.
In early spring, we had to make the difficult decision to move our mom out of our family home and into an assisted living facility after her body and mind could no longer hide the glaringly obvious from us.
I’ll save the specifics of why and how we got to that decision for another time. Suffice it to say, it was anything but easy. Moving her was both heartbreaking and frightening but mom accepted it with grace and understanding.
I just returned from Southern California after spending a week with her and find myself deeply moved, humbled and proud.
Mom is slight – 96 pounds, a little over five feet tall, and very soft-spoken. You hardly notice her. But make no mistake – she’s a baller.
Nine months ago, she arrived at the facility as the new fish, not knowing a soul. But she quickly made herself at home. There’s approximately 125 folks living there and 10-20 on-call attendants, depending on the time of day. She earned full OG status last month after she almost escaped twice in one week. (She could have pulled it off too if she hadn’t forgotten her walker on the first attempt and not worn her nightgown on the second.)
Mom spent 40 years teaching kindergarten, which makes her a 12th-degree black belt in human nature. She disarms you with sweetness, sweeps your legs with appreciation and finishes you off with a love punch to the heart. She’s a female version of Mr. Rogers.
I witnessed it over and over growing up – but this last week she was displaying Jedi-level mastery.
It was a hoot to accompany her as she slowly rolled her candy apple red four-wheeled walker through the halls, main lobby, living room, library, yard and dining room because everyone ADORES her. And it’s not just in her new residency. She’s royalty wherever she goes. She offers a warm “hello” to everyone she passes and always finds something kind or special to say. She proudly lets each and everyone know that “this is my son from San Francisco.” A few of her girlfriends are kind enough to mention how handsome I am and I shamelessly eat it up.
We spent hours reminiscing about old stories, going through photos and her filling in the blanks of our family history. I, of course, kept her updated on the latest with her grandchildren. This was also interspersed with helping her get in and out of bed, dressed, groomed, fed and bathed. She kept apologizing for the indignity of it all and then we’d burst out laughing.
She told me over and over how grateful she is for all her good fortune and how much she loves us. It was heartrending, tender and beautiful all at once. She’s the personification of the Christmas spirit. Instead of fading as she slowly surrenders to her failing body and memories, she shines brighter than ever.
May we all be so lucky.
I love you too, mom. Merry Christmas.
