My mom has always been a caretaker — not by profession, but by nature. She spent years caring for my grandmother as her health declined, and after my grandmother passed, she devoted herself to taking care of my stepdad for over a decade. She did all of this while holding down a full-time job and taking care of us. She has such a big heart and generosity that often knows no bounds.
When my stepdad was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s in his fifties, my mom faced the delicate and painful challenge of supporting him while protecting his well-being. It was a constant struggle to find the right balance — wanting to help but not wanting to injure his pride or remove a sense of control. It mattered so much to her that he still felt respected and capable. The fear of hurting his feelings weighed heavily on her, making her hesitant to step in too soon. Yet that hesitation came with risks. In one instance, my dad’s cognitive struggles led him to make a decision that put his and others’ safety at risk.
This is a difficult situation that many of us might face someday. As our loved one’s age or cope with cognitive challenges, it’s incredibly hard to know when to step in and how to balance preserving their dignity while protecting their well-being. Open conversations, understanding each other’s perspectives, and sometimes involving a trusted advisor can help families navigate these changes. It’s never easy, but the peace of mind that comes from knowing a loved one is secure — financially and personally — is worth every difficult moment. Sometimes, stepping in is the most loving choice we can make.
